Justification
by Oh-Dearie-Dear
Summary: Belle walked away from Rumple, but what if Rumple walked away from Belle? -or- Belle is not the only one in a toxic relationship with broken trust.
1. Chapter 1

**Based Off The Rumbelle scene in 5x10.**

When Belle walks up to the well, Rumple's back is turned to her. Excalibur lays in front of him, and his hands are wavered over it. What he's doing remains a mystery - as anything the impish man does is. With a newfound gush of strength, Belle calls out his name, fully prepared to say what she needs to say.

The beauty was going to leave her beast. She's thought about it over and over, entertaining the idea until her mind finally decided it was time. Rumple is never going to be the man she wants. He's never going to try to become the hero she knows he could be. The twisted man with a complicated past is someone who has put her through enough heartbreak.

Part of her is sad. Sad that the man she loves isn't the man she needs him to be. And never will be. Another part of her, though, is excited to finally be free. Excited to finally taste the world without the companion of a man. For the heartbreak and the endless cycle of lies to end. Maybe she'll date for awhile, give herself a chance to know other men - other, _good_ men. Men that don't have complicated pasts, that don't lie to supposedly protect her - that are _really_ true at heart.

Or maybe she'll get a job. Or go to school. Maybe she'll travel and see every state, stay in hotels and eat excotic foods.

Either way, it's time for her to break off this relationship. It's toxic, everyone has told her so. And they were right, it is. It's taken her while to realize it, but now she does. And she plans to live a life she deserves. To 'find a man that cherishes her', as Granny had kindly supplied her with. She's finally ready to go out and get what she deserves.

"Belle," Rumple turns around to greet her, eyes strained red with clear lack of sleep. There are bags under his eyes, and he looks troubled.

"Hey," She forces a decent smile, taking a stand next to him at the well. "I have something to-"

"Do you...mind if I go first?" Rumple holds up a hand suddenly, looking sheepish and...nervous? He's stiff and clearly uncomfortable. "I don't mean to interrupt you, I just fear if I don't say it now, I might not say it at all."

Belle is peeved he would interrupt her, especially after everything he's done to her. But she nods, figuring she could listen to his nonsense one last time. He smiles back at her and clears his throat.

"I...just know this isn't easy for me. I've been up all night contemplating it...as you can tell," He gestures to his face. He then sighs, and clasps his hands. "I...want to, uh, break up."

_Wait what?_

Belle's fazed look speaks for itself. This isn't what she expected when he said he wanted to meet up. And her face is what makes Rumple grab her hands.

"This isn't because I don't love you, _please don't think that._" He squeezes her hands. "I love you so much, it _hurts_. I just can't be the man you want, Belle. My past is complicated, and I can't expect anyone to understand, let alone an _amazing_ woman like you. You don't deserve to be brought down because of that. _You deserve better._"

She _does_ deserve better. She's been telling herself that over and over to will herself to finally let go of him. But it doesn't feel right coming from him. _She_ should be saying that to _him_. _He's_ the one who has lied, _he's_ the one who can't be better. It's not _her_ who ruined this relationship. It's _him_. Not _her_.

"Right..." Her voice wavers, which doesn't make sense, because _this is what she wants_. This was why she came. Why doesn't it feel right? "I, uh…"

"I know this is sudden," His brown eyes are downcast, like he can't bring himself to look at her. "I just can't do it anymore. _You were my breath of fresh air_. Until you became perfume...and I can't _breathe _around-"

"I'm _perfume?"_ Her voice comes out a little more high pitched than she wants. She doesn't know wether to be offended or not.

"Not in a bad way!" He quickly confirms. "Just...not in a good way either. The expectations you have...they're ones I can't reach no matter how far I stretch myself. You're intoxicating...and the more I'm with you, the more I want to be with you. But I can't breathe around you."

"Do I suddenly take up too much oxygen?" She snaps, because _how dare he_. She's been nothing but good to him. How _dare_ he.

His eyes snap up, meeting her fierce gaze.

"No! _God no._ That's not what I'm saying!"

"The what are you saying?" She demands.

"I...I can't trust you." He admits, and _what? He_ can't trust _her?_

"I'm sorry, _what?_"

His eyes are hurt at her reaction, though, when he lets out a held breath, it seems he didn't expect any differently.

"Belle...I love you. _So much_. I would give the world to you if I could." His hands fall to his sides.

"I never wanted the world!" She throws her hands in the air, because _seriously? _How can he be so daft? "_I just wanted you!"_

He smiles sadly, and...are those tears? "You wanted a version of me that I can't be. You want the _idea_ of me."

"That's completely absurd!" Her hands fly to her forehead and her voice rises a notch. "I've done everything to make sure we could be together! I haven't stopped fighting for you since the beginning!"

"Maybe not," His voice is soft and nowhere near her level. He's quiet, almost timid. "But your fighting turned into changing. You didn't want _me_, you wanted a hero."

"But you could _be_ a hero!"

"But that's not who I am," He argues lightly. "I'm not that man, Belle. I've told you this over and over again. And despite all of that, you were still with me. And I love you for that, but...I can't breathe around you. I'm walking on eggshells everytime I'm near you. My words are planned and calculated as to not upset you. I can't be myself around you. I can't truly express my feelings without you telling me why I shouldn't feel those feelings. I can't get angry at someone without a lecture. _I can't be me._"

"And apparently you can't trust me," She wants to laugh at how demented that sounds. _He_ can't trust _her_. _Ha_.

"No, I can't." He bites his lips, clearly upset.

"What, because I refuse to take part in your evil acts?"

He huffs, as if frustrated at _her_. _What a thought_, Belle thinks sourly. "Because, after everything we've been through, after everything that happened with Zelena, you still used that dagger on me."

"_To banish you_? Are we really going back to that?"

"No, Belle. The Snow Queen's cave. Or have you forgotten?" HIs voice is soft even as he accuses her.

"I apologized for that!" She tightens her pink petticoat around her. "Besides, that wasn't even the real dagger."

"But you thought it was," He points out. "And because you thought it was, you used it to your advantage. You controlled me."

"I was desperate," She's quiet now, but not ready to give up yet.

"And that makes it right?"

"No, but it makes it _justified_."

"Like everything I've ever done?"

"Rumple, you've _murdered_ people! _Hurt people._"

"I know, but not without reason."

"Oh, so you were right to do so then?"

"No, but I was _justified_."

Belle pauses. He has a point, but _still_. "Murdering is not the same thing as using the dagger on you."

"It's still wrong. And you did it even after I was enslaved by that witch for a _year_. Actually, _right_ after."

"I did _not!"_

"So you didn't use the dagger to try and stop me from killing Zelena?" He lifts an eyebrow.

"The _fake_ dagger! And you were going to _kill_ someone."

"Someone who _murdered_ _my son_. I had a reason, Belle. I was _justified_." HIs words now are clipped with an edge. "You, however, were _not_. I didn't give you that dagger so you could use it on me. I gave it to you because I thought I could _trust_ you. And I was wrong. You showed me that within days after I'd given it to you. And you _still_ seem to wonder why I didn't trust you with the real dagger in the first place."

The words cut sharp into her heart. His voice is hurt, and his eyes are sad and filled with betrayal. _But he's hurt her, too._

"And I thought I could trust you." She has to say. _She's been hurt, too_.

"We both can't trust each other," He says it as a fact. "Our trust has been broken. We both took part in it. And now I need to end it, because I can't take another argument. And I'm sure you feel the same way."

She's quiet because she doesn't know what to say. And she feels sick, but why? She wants this! She planned to break up with him first! Why doesn't it feel right? Why does she feel sick to her stomach?

"So this is it?" She hugs herself tighter as it becomes windier.

"I suppose," He's hugging himself, too. Though, with the solemn look on his face, she doesn't think it's because of the wind. He steps down from the well, and turns to her. "If you ever need anything, my shop is always open."

With a pathetically sad smile, he turns his back to her and walks away. She thinks she sees him bring up a hand to wipe his face, but she can't be sure, for her eyes are nearly filled with water. This doesn't feel _right_.

But whether it feels right or not, what's done is done. Just not how she expected it to be. She feels numb and devoid of emotion, the opposite to what she expected to feel.

It's only as she's passing Grannie's that she realizes, when she fills Ruby in on how the night went, she'll have to tell her that the beauty, in fact, didn't leave her beast.

Instead, the beast seemed to have left his beauty.


	2. BLACK LIVES FUCKING MATTER

I can't believe this is considered "political" or "controversial", but let me another decent soul to remind you that BLACK LIVES MATTER. It's absolutely disgusting to me how this is even debatable. How? _How? _And for all of you assholes screaming "all lives matter", y'all don't give a flying fuck about all lives. If you did, even in the slightest, you'd scream black lives matter right with me. The hypocrisy is hilarious as it is disturbing. "Blue lives matter" Literally go fuck yourself with a cactus. I'm so done with conservatives and their hypocrisy. This entire fanfic is about hypocrisy and brainwashing, and while it's fictional and NO WHERE NEAR THE SAME THING, please leave my page and get off of my fanfic. If you don't scream black lives matter, if you don't sign petitions, if you dont do your part in educating the people around you who are racist and ignorant, get away from my fanfic, and don't come back until you've thoroughly checked yourself and gained decent empathy.

As someone who is white and privileged, I am so fucking ashamed of what my ancestors have done to black people and people of color. You all deserve so much more. I'm so fucking sorry about how society has silenced you, how they've dealt with racial matters, and how they continue to profit off of your oppression. It's wrong. There is no excuse, no justification. It's wrong, and I hope you know that I stand with you. I will continue to speak up to my racist relatives, I will continue to sign petitions, and I will continue to fight for you in whatever means I can.

And to those of you who are white and gain from this, USE YOUR VOICE! We would be NO WHERE without the help of our brothers and sister of color. Stand up for them! Use the white privilege you have for good! And for the love of God, acknowledge your privilege. Acknowledge that everything is made for you, and that while you may struggle, your struggle isn't because of the color of your skin. And when speaking up, don't silence people of color in the process. Instead, give them the space to express their oppression.

And a little reminder, it is not any person of color's job to educate you. Do your own fucking research. I have, and I've learned far more than I ever have from our white-washed school system! If I have and can check myself and do my own research, guess what? You can, too! It is a privilege to learn about racism instead of experiencing it.

It is not your job to educate anyone, but if any POC want to comment and talk about their experiences, please feel free. This comment section is left to all of you if you want to. I hope all of you stay safe, and know that we will not let this continue. Our generation (gen z) is awake and powerful. We will fight for you, and we won't stop until justice is served.

Hate will be deleted. I will not be tolerating any bullshit. Respectful questions are fine, and I will answer them if I feel I can. But there is no excuse to be ignorant, not in 2020. If you're ignorant now, you choose to be.

"No justice, no peace."


End file.
